Roll the List #25: Dalton’s Take


Roll the List #25: Top 3 Worst Shooter Video Games – Dalton’s Take

I could go to Google and just search the worst shooters of all time. I could just throw this list together rummaging through the bottom of the barrel. Anyone could do that. But I’m going to pick on some of the more popular shooters and poke some holes. I want you to have heard of the games on my list and not have to go straight to a search engine to find out what I’m talking about. It’s time to poke some holes and ruffle some feathers. BOOM! HEADSHOT!

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3. Counter-Strike – I have logged more hours in this FPS than any other. I couldn’t afford a nice computer, so I devoted portions of my paycheck of my early teen years to hours at internet cafes with friends. We’d play for hours, ghosting on the local servers. And no matter how good I got, it always hit me…I’m not great at shooting virtual terrorists, I’m good at adapting to poor game mechanics and even worse game physics and dynamics. Little about your aim and your bullet’s trajectory makes sense. Headshots are predictable only to those who play it 9 hours a day and have every map pre-sighted. I still play this game occasionally to this day, but every time I feel sick to my stomach I can’t upgrade to a better game. I’m too afraid of physics that might actually depend on my aim.

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2. Battlefield Franchise – Speaking of games that depend on your aim, Battlefield has turned into one of the most successful FPS franchises with a strong online system. It boasts great graphics, ever-improving physics, and stable online play environments. But, in this writer’s humble opinion, it does too much. While the advantage of Battlefield is its diverse gameplay options, with its various weapons and vehicles, it is also its greatest disadvantage. While I’m sure a more regular regimen on Battlefield servers would resolve a great deal of my frustrations, I couldn’t help but get increasingly agitated with being killed by every item of death ever conceived by man…and having no idea how to not make that happen repeatedly. I got tired quick of being obliterated by an air-strike, respawning, being gunned down by a helicopter, respawning, being run over by a tank, respawning, getting into a tank and being bombed by a fighter jet, respawning, and then finally getting to a check point and immediately being sniped in the head. Battlefield is clearly the FPS of choice for many out there, but I am selfishly not good enough to give it its due.

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1. House of the Dead – The rail shooter was an addicting arcade format that has not aged well over the years. With the ever-evolving complexity and diversity of console FPSs, rail shooters like House of the Dead are, well, dead. The simplicity of the House of the Dead style that once made them addictive, now makes them outdated and unable to adapt. When introduced in a console world, the rail shooter is instantly outmatched and lacks the luster of its arcade counterparts. While House of the Dead still holds nostalgia for many, its dialogue and voice acting has developed more of an ironic cult following in the vein of Troll 2. You don’t watch Troll 2 to be enthralled, you watch it to laugh. You don’t play House of the Dead to be pulled into the story, you play it to smirk at the awful script/story and shoot zombies mindlessly. As enjoyable as this game series may be, it has gone the way of its title due to a lack of anything redeemable.

Cross Over: Dalton and I have no cross over this week! Probably because we picked different ways to approach the topic. I took the extremely lazy, unintelligent rout and picked the worst of the worst. Where Dalton on, the other hand, hand decided to be a hipster and brutally attack modern gems. To each their own! I am not bitter about his choices…why would you even say that!?

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