Roll the List #25: Top 3 Worst Shooter Video Games – Kyle’s Take
Hey we have reached our 25th roll the list and it only took us a year or so. If you think about it ( which I advise against) you would think we would actually be more around 40 or so if we released them on time or whatever…
Don’t think about that just read the list we have for you today!
This week’s list is about the worst that the video game industry has to offer, specifically in the FPS genre. Now these “worst” lists tend to be hard as most individuals (including me) don’t buy and play games they dislike. So I had to do a little research on the topic to find some really horrible ones! You are welcome. 😉
3. Super Noahs Ark 3D – This game is a less bloody, less Nazi’s having, worse looking, and just general all round less fun version or Wolfenstein 3D. Funny part is that Nintendo’s shitty porting of Wolfenstein 3D onto the SNES was what caused id Software to give the code to a different company to make this game. They were so frustrated that Nintendo dulled it down, they gave it to the Christian developers at Wisdom Tree Games in spite of Nintendo. In some ways most people view this game as a parody of Wolfenstein 3D on the SNES. I specifically choose this game over Wolfenstein 3D as number three because it has less Nazi’s and we all know that killing Nazi’s just makes most things better. You win this time censors!
2. Duke Nukem: Forever – This game was supposed to be awesome, but this took so long to come out and had such horrible game play that it was thoroughly underwhelming. This game has also the astute honor of become the poster child for what critics call vaporware. Vaporware is (usually) software that is announced but most of the time it is never manufactured and released. While the theme is awesomely bad, the game it self is just plain bad. The main reason being that they did not make any significant improvements to the controls of the game besides adding to the number of weapons duke can carry. If you enjoy the Duke Nukem games I think this game was made for you. but the rest us, who never played/couldn’t play/choose not to play Duke Nukem 3D, just see it as junk.
1. Postal – My views on this game may be drastically affected by the horrible German director Uwe Boll‘s movie from this very same franchise. This game did do a good job of approaching the subject of getting pushed over the edge and the insanity that follows (i.e. killing such a huge number of people). What really kills this game is the lack of an actually game surrounding the interesting psychological concepts. The game has unintuitive controls, mediocre graphics, and the goal of each level centers around killing a percentage of the people. this may not be so boring if it cared how you did it or made it interesting (read if it were more like Manhunt). This game does cover a very controversial subject; but, as we talked about few lists ago (Dalton’s and Mine) controversial topics do simply make something good or interesting.
There we go, three of the worst FPS games I could find after a day or two of rummaging in the dumpsters of the internet looking for steroids, beer and holographic version of my self. Perhaps on our next video game list I will have actually played some of the games I talk about! But for now I am gonna go wash all this beer soaked shame off in a hot shower.