A Bard’s Eye View: 70,000 Tons Preview (Part One)

70,000 Tons of…
Oh my God, Holy shit


Part I

It’s February now but little do you know that I was actually writing this as early as 13 January 2016!  That’s right, I was so excited about this that I wanted to get an extra head start.  By now, I am probably in my hotel room or at the beach, or probably pretending I have mad flirt game with foreign women.  But, the important thing is that this is THE event of the year for me.  I went last year, as kind of a one-off decision but after my experience in 2015 I wanted to make this a tradition and so here I am, about to embark on #boat for the second year in a row.

Last year, some of the highlights were Behemoth, Cannibal Corpse, Blind Guardian, Therion, Annihilator, Kataklysm, Venom, and of course, Wintersun.  This year, I am looking forward to quite a few bands but I’m only going to talk about a few of them.  My goal is to keep the list under TEN, but I don’t quite know if I can do it.  In fact, I’m going to commit to ten this time and ten next week (as I will be too busy to write anything right away and thus will need an ADDITIONAL article prepped and ready.

You don’t have to tell me how good I am at forethought, I already know.

So, here are the bands I’m excited about (PART ONE):


It’s pretty convenient that Katatonia happens to be on the boat because three of their members onboard already because Bloodbath has a secured spot.  This also means that at no point will these two bands be performing at the same time.  This is also the case with Paradise Lost as Bloodbath’s new singer, Nick Holmes, will be doing double duty as well.  The logistics of this particular setup will be unique to see.  Will they play old fan favorites?  I’m hoping so.


I was fortunate enough to catch Delain this past year when Nightwish and Sabaton toured through.  I had always enjoyed them but their live performance is pretty damn awesome.  What I like about Charlotte Wessels is that she isn’t trying to pull off the meek girl attitude.  She is a very cocky sounding voice, the kind that could hook me onto her every word.


Looking for Sodom, I actually came across Holy Moses, another German thrash band on the boat.  I checked them out and was not disappointed. Sodom is one of those original thrash bands out of Germany that I have always wanted to see and now I get the opportunity.  Anyone who knows me knows that they are one of the bands on my bucketlist.


Turisas was one of those early bands that I got hooked onto right after their first release in 2004.  I had an opportunity to see them with DragonForce (also on the cruise) a few years back but was unable to attend.  I am happy to experience their live performance and I think they will exceed my expectations.

Tyr was another band that I was exposed to very early on and never forgot about.  When I saw Ensiferum in 2011 or 2012 or 2013 I can’t remember, Tyr was there and they were amazing.  I love the clean vocals and the Viking lore that they deal with.  This is definitely going to be a band that I will be watching (maybe twice).


I caught Belphegor once at a Deicide show that I paid far too much money for considering the venue I was attending.  But Belphegor puts on a crazy show.  The guy sounds like Arnold Schwartzengger and can probably hit as hard as him, too.


My Dying Bride was one of those bands that I knew existed and knew they were important in the doom metal scene but for some reason or another I never really took the time to explore.  After listening to the new album Feel the Misery, I was thoroughly convinced that they were a band I needed to experience live.


I saw Insomnium years ago (2010) with Epica and I was really impressed with the way they performed.  I missed them with their tour with Omnium Gatherum so I will definitely need to make that up here.  Looking forward to getting a good dose of melodic death metal out of these guys.



There’s not much I can say about At the Gates that hasn’t already been said by everyone else who has ever existed.  A chance to see one of the pioneers of the melodic death metal genre and a chance to see a legendary band in action.  Phenomenal opportunity.


I’m a huge fan of storytelling and a huge fan of music that uses horror film scores as an influence. Carach Angren is the perfect example of this.  Please play this album on the pool deck.  It’s too perfect not to.  This would make my trip.  Please.


Next week, expect these bands:
Rhapsody of Fire
Rotting Christ
Iced Earth

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