The Hyperlane Report: Empire at War – Dice Based Pseudonyms Part 1 3


Empire at War

Dice Based Pseudonyms

Part 1

One of the best parts of getting a new set is opening boxes of new cards. I however also get the awesome addition of having my significant other make up some of the most hilarious names for cards based on their dice. Today I would like to share some of the alternative names she came up with from Empire at War in no particular order. My SO has seen the Star Wars movies but doesn’t know the universe as well as I do, and to me that makes this so fun. I hope you have as much fun reading them and figuring them out as I did listening to them!

Blue Inspector Gadget – Cad Bane

Go, Go Gadget Bounty Hunter.

Cad Bane

Black Power Fist – Temptation

The dark side has its benefits… and cake I hear!

Temptation

Bobsled with Guns – T-47 Airspeeder

(Insert Cool Runnings joke here)

T-47 Airspeeder

Pretty Lady with Horns – Jedi Instructor

And she is a nice lady to boot!

Jedi Instructor

Reaper – Servant of the Dark Side

Yes, this is a reference to Overwatch. Fanservice provided.

Servant of the Dark Side

That Fucking Bug Guy From the Movie Nobody Likes – Tough Haggler.

This one made me laugh a lot as it took me a few seconds to figure out what movie (and even if it was a Star Wars movie) she was talking about. When I realized it was Watto from The Phantom Menace, I laughed harder.

Tough Haggler

Perpetually Shocked-Bot – Magnaguard

This one really makes sense when you look at the die. It looks like the Magnaguard is like surprised about everything you roll!

MagnaGuard

Treasure Gun – Psychometry

If Rey were Indiana Jones, would Finn be Sala?

Psychometry

Zippy Jet – Z-95 Headhunter

Strangely accurate….

Z-95 Headhunter

Chewie’s Cousin – Wookie Warrior

A bit of Speciesism but they do look similar.

Wookiee Warrior

Poker Pistol, A pistol that was won in a game of poker – X-8 Night Sniper

This one even got its own subtitle!

X-8 Night Sniper

Jowels McJowelsington -Gamorrean Guard

Lil green piggies!

Gamorrean Guard

Tired Cop – Extortion

He has had a hard day of being a cop on a cop planet full of cops…

Extortion

Trump Hand, now with more toupee – Energy Slingshot

When you see it…

Energy Slingshot

Space Quaffle – Training Remote

Galactic Quidditch Joke #1

Training Remote

Energy Snitch – EMP Grenade

Galactic Quidditch Joke #2

EMP Grenades

That is all for today but there are more! Keep an eye out for more in a later article! Do you have any alternative names you call cards? Did any of these make you laugh? Let us know in the comments. Time to jump.

-Kyle (and Amy)


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